I feel as if I am stuck! Stuck in all aspects of life, as if the entire Universe is slowing down and everything at some point will come to a halt - and there is nothing I can do about it!
In the beginning of it I did like everyone else; deep cleaned everything in my house and then I slowly turned my attention towards to outside of the house, the garden, fixing the little things that had me annoyed but I never got to do. Then I got through the pile of books that I had that had accumulated that I wanted to read. Then I did online certifications in all sorts of areas. I took to knitting and needle point and found a more meditative way into it, loved to be creative. At some point I even knitted scarves for the trees in my garden because it looked so bare where we pulled up a bush.... how sad is that!
Then I turned my energy towards my own issues, traumas, old thought patterns and personal development projects - because there is always something you can get better at, right?
But now I am tired! I am tired of feeling as if I'm in a retreat for self development and personal growth! I can't do it anymore! I WANT PEOPLE AROUND ME!! I need to have friends coming around for a chat and a coffee, to be able to meet people in a bar for a drink and a laugh - I have Haut Hunger as they call it in German; a hunger for being touched, hugged, kissed and just being so near to others that you can feel the heat from their bodies!
I have realized that to be able to develop myself I need people to be around. If I am on my own, it "doesn't count".
Yes - I have never called my family nor my friends so much as I have done these last years. It's nice to share my daily life, and I do appreciate everthing we share and talk about - but I NEED TO MEET WITH PEOPLE AND FEEL THEM! To be in resonance with others, talking about issues you find difficult sitting opposite in the couch with a blanket over you, drinking tea.
I claim that we don't get "the full experience" connecting over the phone or the internet, even in our advanced times. I claim that in these times there are more and more people that are feeling lonely and depressed, and that is a serious pandemic that we will have to face the consequences of in the near future. "WE ARE NOT AN ISLAND" as the HSBC ad tells us - we need to interact with others to feel appreciated and loved, to be spured on to become the best edition of us that we can be. After all - why do it, if you just sit at home in front of your computer. There you can make yourself and your house into what you want; change the background so you're sitting on a beach, you don't have to be scared that you'll be found out to be an imposter because you don't interact at all. When the computer is shut, the world resumes in the old thread and you can pretend to be happy, slim, the perfect mother, carefree, fit, ecologically inclined.........
I call it RESONANCE - you feel the other person's mood, health, energy, joy (or will) to live - and you and your body reacts to that! You feel invigorated and giddy if you've been with good friends having a good time - and if you've been with people that are negative or anxious you can feel physically and emotionally drained.
That is what I do when I teach yoga and do yoga therapy; I feel people, what their energetic field tells me, what their bodies tell me. That is whey I can create a class that will fit you perfectly, because of resonance! If you allow it, that is!
I haven't done any classes online during the pandemic - I haven't tought any, and I've done very few in my own practice. I can't wait for the world to resume again - although it probably in a slower tempo - because i get to do what I'm good at again!
To be with people - because I miss you guys!
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