“Why start 23 hard? Why not start calm and with reflexion and forgiveness?” someone wrote in The Real Internet World.
The words stuck with me - because I’ve always one of those that start off with 10 different, hardcore, life-changing resolutions and then failing miserably and by February feeling like a loser! Need to lose 20 kilos - again - start running - again - less meat - again...... the only thing I can do is stop smoking!..... well, I don't even smoke so that's an easy one to keep! So New Year's eve I smoke a cigar to make sure I've got that one resolution in the bag!!
Check! One resolution I easily can uphold!
Everything has become calmer around me; I don't know what has happened, but I seem to ride this b*tch rollercoaster like an old surfer! I know that hard times will become better, that I will get though this too! I love being 51! Jus' sayin'!!
This year my December month was so filled with love and warmth. I think it’s the first time I’ve been utterly, utterly happy and calm during the Christmas and New Year days. Maybe that was why the words “Why start 23 hard? Why not start calm and with reflexion and forgiveness?” resonated so much with me?
This winter I got the greatest gift I've ever gotten; my sister came to visit me. She and her better half travelled 800 miles to visit, crossed countries and cultures - even if she doesn't like to drive! I have never felt so appreciated and grateful!
Why not do it differently with the new year as well? Do the opposite than what I've always done?
So - this year I have the resolution to start calm and caring towards myself! To listen to what my very strong intuition is saying to me, acting after what it says - because I've been more hurt by not taking it easy, that not to be doing things too fast.
How it's working, you ask? Very well - even if we're only a few days into 23 I feel different. An underlying kindness to shower my life in. Leaning back into the safety of knowing that - indeed - all is exactly as it's supposed to be. That I don't need to stress to find the perfect job, to have the perfect body, the perfect face......
I said goodbye to 22 with so much forgiveness. Towards everything that I found difficult, people that hurt me or disappointed me or haven't done what I wanted them to do - and most importantly myself. I've looked at my sadness and forgiven it. The anger that I can't seem to give any space has been forgiven for its wild being, the eternal "oh, I need to run away and start again!" that comes back to visit even if its less and less. I have looked at it all and forgiven it.
When I look back I used the entire Christmas month doing this work, deep inwards conversations with myself and what ever came up. And it has done a difference - when sitting down to write my wishes for 23 - as I do every year - I realized that I am exactly where I would like to be!
I don't wish for a new and better job or more money, a new car, another partner, more people to be proud of me. No. I just want this Life, the Life I'm doing right now! This semi-boring, extremely satisfying life with normal discussions and annoyances with my husband, yoga classes with the clients, washing, when somebody comes to share, cleaning and friends calling to check if I'm ok. This Life, the one that I'm living! THAT's what I want!
I can really recommend you not starting the year hardcore! No, start soft and slowly, have a look at where you are, then be grateful and forgiving for everything - also all the sh*t that made you cry. Allow it. The feelings are there because I want to be acknowledged, seen, taken into account.
“Why start 23 hard? Why not start calm and with reflexion and forgiveness?” someone wrote ino The Real Internet World. then; be grateful for everything that didn't pan out the way you hoped for because that, my dear being, has pl