I like new year. I embrace the possibility to restart and reignite my energies, to cut the ties with all that I have had to say goodbye to in the old year and then make a note on all I wish for in the new year, both physically and spiritually. It's a nice energy, it's moving and alive and everything is possible! It's to say goodbye to people maybe even friendships, habits or work that have ended during the old year, to mentally make room for all the fantastic things coming my way in the new year.
I believe in the power of the word; everything is created by a word! To properly say goodbye and thank you to help you letting go, or to actually say out loud what you want and wish for in your life; SAY IT! In our lives we are too focused on things we DO NOT want, and seeing that the Universe doesn't understand the "DO NOT" part we actually focus on the tings we're trying to avoid!
This is my note to self about what I want to say goodbye to in the passing year, the things and aspects I want to leave behind this new year. As many others I fight the same issues again and again; not feeling good enough, overthinking, not being consequent or being more specific in my speech patterns. This year I've used my quiet time between Christmas and New Year to write it down on a big piece of paper. That will make me see it more clearly, and thereby acknowledge and accept it.
I've had a brillant year - all summer I did yoga at Disibodenberg and got to know Hildegard of Bingen. She was in her 40's when she HAD TO share the visions she had; she tried to avoid her path in life but got very sick doing it....... eventually she started her life as an author of many books on God and the Order of Life. Very much an inspiration for me, as I also tried to avoid my Path in Life.
It was only after my summer at Disibodenberg I finally gave ind and embraced my Path!
I also started to incorporate essential oils in my yoga practice and was surprised about the intense effects it has! It's still a work in progress and every day I learn something new. My clients play an active part of these teachings and I am truly grateful for the feedback and comments.
I started my business! A huge step for me as I always said "I do not want to be self employed!".... but this is my path!
Every day I wake up and look forward to my daily work. I do what I like and love! My own experiences on living with chronic pain I have incorporated in my setting as a yoga teacher and therapist, helping people see their body as this magnificent invention that they themselves can make better by few and daily life ajustments in pose and movements! I feel as if I make a difference in the world! I am grateful for everything in my life that has led to this culmination of My Now!
And then my year ended on an even higher than high with my journey to India! The same week I had told my friend "Now I don't need to travel anymore, I am completely happy and settled after our honeymoon to Cuba!" I found Hinterland Village on www.bookyogaretreats.com, called Unni, booked tickets and applied for visa......... how life works in mysterious ways, eh!?
And it changed my life! I utterly fell in love with the people and this vast country. The beauty and the power, the colours and the fragrances, the calmness and the chaos. It is everything at once and I felt as if I was both in the centre of the Universe and standing on the outskirts of life at the same time! A friend once said "It's the most beautiful and the most ugly at the same time!" You have to have been there to understand this truth!
I was very taken with the way of life, the philosophy and the attitude of people there, and my own way of life was put into perspective too. And that's a good thing to have everything you know and have done yourself turned all upside down!! Especially the yogic way of thinking and expressing yourself in an honest and kind way touched me deeply.
The yogic truth has two aspects that you have to relate to: "Is it truthful?" and "Is it hurtful?" It means that you cannot say it - no matter how true it is!! - if it's hurtful to others!
When I was a child I carried many secrets. In my adult life I pride myself of being honest and true. It hurt me immensely having to keep my mouth shut when I was a child and it's something I've been working with ever since, being truthful to myself and to others.
It has cost me friends and relationships, huge family fights and being ignored, being bad mouthed and outed in all kinds of connections or celebrations. I have chosen to remove myself from difficult situations where I knew there could be a risk of having an "altercation". It has hurt me - but I still work with it because I know that NOT BEING HONEST will hurt me even deeper and I don't want that!
The philosophy sessions with Swamy at Hinterland really surprised me - and also set me back a bit - as I realised that I have not been all that truthful that I believed myself to be! That I too have hurt people in my Quest for the Truth! That the sentence: "Well, I'm only being honest!" doesn't work in real yogic life! I have suddenly understood that the truth also takes prisoners and it shouldn't!
It's the saying "If you can't say anything nice - don't say anything at all!!", isn't it!? I never thought of it like that! I bet we've all been in that position asking your friend or husband something and then getting really upset when the answer isn't what you expected?
All in all the year has been totally as per usual - and utterly unique! all the best and all the worst! The most stressful and the most relaxing - a bit like India - and I find myself in the centre and on the outskirts of Everything, just as it's supposed to be! All is good!
Yes 2017, thank you for everything you've showed me taught me and done it's been a good ride!! And now I'm ready for 2018 and all the magic it will bring and give!!